Sunday, January 12, 2014

Making The Most Of Marriage Counseling

By Marissa Velazquez


It is sad to notice that the divorce rate between couples is climbing at an alarming speed. Although each couple may have different reasons for separating, it is a fact that life is stressful due to high prices, low or non-existing incomes and the pressures of society in general. These factors do have a negative influence on marriages. In the past marriage counseling was viewed as a last and embarrassing resort, but now it has become an accepted process that can do wonders for a relationship.

If you are the one who needs to initiate the process of acquiring assistance, then you need to do it the right way so that your partner will be open to the idea as well. The idea should be suggested in an appropriate manner so that it is not misunderstood. Firstly, you will need to choose a good time to discuss the matter.

Make sure that you bring up the topic when you are both feeling relaxed, and when there is no one else around. It is a private matter between the two of you and it should not be discussed with anyone else. Try to talk when you know that your partner is not overly stressed from work or other matters, so that it can be a conversation rather than an argument. Talk about it in a positive way, and in a way that your partner won't feel as if he or she is going to be negatively viewed.

Sometimes one half of the partnership has to go to see a counselor by him or her self. This can still be beneficial, as the person attending can learn better ways to cope within an argument and to bring about some positive changes. Often, the other party sees the positive impact on the relationship and then agrees to start seeing the counselor as well.

It is wonderful if you can come to an agreement to start seeing a counselor. It will surely be a step in the right direction. To help the process along, you can do a few things before your first session, or during the time you are visiting the counselor. It is helpful to be clear upon the goals you would like to achieve, therefore, write down what you and your spouse hope to gain from the sessions.

Try to write down the major factors that have a negative impact on your relationship. This will help you to understand the sort of problems that need to be solved. However, you should not only focus on the negative aspects, but on the positive things as well.

Start to work on having a positive attitude towards your relationship. You can help yourself do this by forming a list of all the good things about your partner and your association. Concentrating on positive things help to dispel unwanted, negative feelings.

Marriage counseling is not a quick-fix solution to a relationship, but it can provide couples with the necessary skills to start moving forward. It is also not just for couples on the verge of divorce, but for new couples who want to ensure the survival of their relationship. A counselor can help with a wide range of problems, including substance abuse and the death of a loved one.




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